The Great New Balance Divide

In theory, New Balance should be the company for us.

In theory, Communism's great and doesn't lead to famines or anything.

In reality, New Balance leaves much to be desired. They make delightfully styled retro shoes in keeping to their American roots. They also make shoes that fit. But they don't make both.

Yes, oh ye shoe company is beseeched by The Great New Balance Divide. There is Dorky New Balance, and there is Retro New Balance.

Retro New Balance shoes are resurrected (or at least re-marketed) New Balance classics, with wonderful suede in excellent colors perfectly arranged for excellent shoe design. These shoes are iconic, comfortable, wonderfully subtle--the kind of shoes you could go anywhere in.

Except on the Retro side of The Divide, we of the oddly-shaped feet are largely missing out.

Most of Retro New Balance's offerings only come in B or D widths. The 574 goes up to 2E width, which isn't spectacular (also, Asian-made 574s run a half size narrower than their American counterparts, but that's a discussion for another time).

Oh, you want shoes that fit? You'll have to cross the Armistice Line into Dorky New Balance.

Here, you'll find plenty of shoes that fit your feet. Oh, they're (by and large) outrageously comfortable. But they're also loud. You wear those out somewhere and it's like going to dinner with a girl who won't stop yapping about going vegan. They're annoying; they scream "I AM A RUNNING SHOE" to anyone in a five block radius.

Which is perfect for running alone on dark streets, or hiking in the woods, or sitting at your computer and playing World of Warcraft (you gotta know that's all those 623s are used for). But for everything else? For the real world? These shoes are useless.

They say in business: Every problem is an opportunity. The opportunity for New Balance here is palpable: they've already got the attention of the wide width shoe market. Why not make their best selling shoes (Retro New Balance) in wider widths and sell them like hotcakes to their already rapt audience? The "lifestyle shoe" segment makes up 80% of the athletic shoe market of normal footed people, there's no reason those numbers shouldn't translate to the wide width crowd.

But New Balance is like the '93 Bulls of wide width shoes: no one's touching them. Michael Jordan had to try baseball to get a fresh challenge. When there isn't that challenge, when there isn't that other company nipping at their heels, ready to swipe away customers at any lag in innovation, there's no motivation to make fresh products. New Balance has little incentive to make different styles in 4E, 6E, or, for that matter, 2A widths, because the people who have those shoe sizes are going to buy shoes from New Balance anyways. There's no place else for us to go.

That logic, however, is flawed. The argument that New Balance would only be stealing customers from itself is stuck in zero sum thinking. It doesn't take into account that maybe this niche market could buy more shoes. Remember, basketball shoes used to be a niche market, too, a small offshoot of tennis shoes. But then this happened. I'm not saying wide width shoes could ever sell anywhere close to Air Jordans, but there's certainly an opportunity out there.

So until Retro New Balance gets off their ass and realizes there's money to be made (or another company pounces on the opportunity), we're stuck with Dorky New Balance. Sigh.